What am I looking for? (We're moving!)

I've been there, done that. Jason and I just bought a house, yay!
We're moving this weekend :)
It's gonna be so great not having to pay rent, having our own home. I mean, we've got a mortgage to pay, but we'll deal with it.

So here I am, home-owner... about to finish my double-degree, I have a loving fiancee, I live well and I have the most supportive family one person can hope for.

So why is it that I still feel empty?

Why do I feel so alone sometimes? Why do I feel like sometimes I don't exist and other times I feel like I'm the only one who exists. Why don't anyone understand me?

Why am I so scared that I won't live up to everyone's expectations? Or mine.

My psychologists says maybe I'm yearning for spiritual enlightenment, divinity from within. It strikes a chord. I have been looking for something all my life...
I was born a Catholic, decided to be Anglican (baptised and confirmed), but then dabbled in Wicca and Buddhism before giving up and admitting that as a Chinese descendant I wear Buddhist sandals, a Taoist robe and a Confucian thinking cap. (Add to that holding a bible).

He said when I'm ready I will experience peace within myself, bliss.

I want it so bad.... I want to understand...